


Crush Like a Stone

by ThirteenthHourAtMycroftsMindPalace



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: A.U.-centric, Cuteness overload, F/M, Fili is the best brother ever, Parent!Thorin, Poor Bilbo, Sorry Not Sorry, Thranduil Not Being An Asshole, kids being kids, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 21:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirteenthHourAtMycroftsMindPalace/pseuds/ThirteenthHourAtMycroftsMindPalace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little Hobbit fluff made with love for my dearest Mai-Chan. I honestly can't even with my friends at this point. I hope you like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crush Like a Stone

**Author's Note:**

> I made this for my Mai. Not beta-ed. No regrets. I almost died of cute exposure from the idea of this alone yet alone writing it.   
> I don't own the hobbit. I only own my love of the hobbit.

"Do you know why you've been called in today Mr. Oakenshield?" Bilbo was seated behind his desk trying to be imposing, despite being at least a head or two shorter than man before him.  
Thorin glared at him, eyes steeled like they were going to war. "What did they do now?" His eyes temporarily glanced over to where his nephews played with toy swords and a plastic bow and arrow set.  
Bilbo bit his lip out of habbit before speaking again. "Fíli didn't do anything.The problem is with Kíli. He seems to be picking on one of his classmates, Tauriel. He has pulled her hair, spit at her feet, and thrown a stone at her, and that was just today. He has been picking on her for about a week and if his behavior continues I will have to allow Headmaster Grey to handle the situation."  
Thorin wasn't too shocked by Kíli's behavior. "What do you suggest we do, Mr. Baggins?" He tried to keep the grit out of his voice and seem as calm as possible even though he was seething that the smaller man had called him out of the mines for something like Kíli's jokes. The kid was only six, he didn't think he was hurting anybody.  
"I think it would be beneficial to both children if we held a family conference between your family and Mr. Greenleaf's." Bilbo said in the most reasonable tone he could muster.  
"Greenleaf? As in Thranduil Greenleaf, owner of Mirkwood Mining?" Dear Valar let it be anyone but him.  
"Exactly. I expect to see you here at seven Saturday morning with both boys, Mr. Oakenshield. Good afternoon." Bilbo left no room for arguments, before vacating his seat and going back to teach his class, which Thorin assumed ment he was free to go back to work.

 

When Saturday rolled around Thorin was dreading the conference. He hated his boss, and if Thranduil's kids were anything like him, Kíli couldn't be blamed for disliking the girl.  
They entered the classroom to find the Greenleafs already seated with Bilbo at a table in the back of the room. "Ah, Mr. Oakenshield, you've met Mr.Greenleaf, this is his son Legolas, and Niece Tauriel. Mr.Greenleaf this is Fíli and Kíli. Now that we all know each other why don't we get down to why we are all here."  
Kíli flicked a wad of lint he found in his pocket at Tauriel causing her to swat at him. A small scuffle between the two broke out only to be stopped by Legolas and Fíli moments later. "You see that is the problem. They both act like orc towards one another."  
"That little rock muncher started it Mr. Baggins. Tauriel was just defending herself." Legolas said glaring daggers at Kíli.  
"My brother is no rock muncher, you toad breathed, tree kisser!" Fíli said in defense of his brother.  
"Do either of you know why the behave like that towards one another?" Bilbo addressed both men hoping for an answer to the problem,but getting blank stares in response. "Very well then, Kíli why do you treat Tauriel like that ?"  
"Cuz,she's a smelly elf with annoying hair and a stupid elf only club that she said I couldn't be in." Kíli looked sadly at his brother before continuing. "She acts like I've got cooties of sumthin' gross like that."  
Bilbo looked over to Tauriel and motioned for her to speak next. " He is weird. He kept looking at me and following me around, and Legolas said it was because he wanted to eat me, so I said we were in an elf only club and he needed to go away, then he started being mean to me."  
"Kíli, why were you following Tauriel?"  
"Because, Mr. Baggins, he was tryin'a talk to 'er but he's too shy." Fíli spoke as his brother turned bright red.  
"I jus' wanted to tell her I liked her bow. It was pretty, but then she was mean to me."  
"I didn't know you were trying to talk to me. I'm sorry I was so rude."  
"I'm sorry I threw a stone at you.Wanna go play king under the mountain?"  
"Sure!" She took his hand and off they went Legolas and Fíli Trailing behind them. Bilbo smiled as the conflict resolved itself.  
"Who would have thought we would be wasting a Saturday morning , over a childish crush" Thranduil looked to Thorin then Bilbo, "While they play do you two want me to go get some coffee and cookies?" Thorin began to laugh at the absurdity of it all as Bilbo nodded to the question.  
In the end the children passed out under a tree, Kíli and Tauriel holding hands and Legolas leaning against Fíli, and the adults drank at least a pot of coffee while recalling their childhood crushes.(and when Thorin mentioned a certain blonde elf he liked when he was Kíli and Fíli's age, Thranduil may have blushed a bit.)

**Author's Note:**

> Well there you have it . Love ya Mai. Please give feedback if you like or dislike it. Criticism is welcome anytime as long as it brings its own booze. No pointless flames please. I will use them to make a lovely stew with lots of taters.


End file.
